Why hasn't the LHC found anything beyond the Higgs boson? Because you're thinking about particle physics in the wrong way. The LHC switched on in 2015 at 13 TeV, the highest energy ever used in a collider experiment and the beginning of a twenty-plus-year research program. Our first extensive look at this new data, in 2016 and 2017, reveals impressive agreement with Standard Model expectations and thus far no new particles. And while the bread-and-butter searches using well-defined and highly-optimized detector objects — jets, leptons, photons, and missing transverse energy — will remain important, the current moment necessitates a shift in mindset. The key task of the LHC community in 2018 is to ensure that our research program covers all possible experimental signatures where new physics could arise. This includes previously less-emphasized searches for things like long-lived particles, exotic decays of the Higgs boson, and evidence of QCD-like dark sector hadronization. These searches can include final states with displaced vertices/jets, unconventional jets, highly-collimated groupings of leptons or photons that confound standard identification methods, atypically distributed energy deposits, and anomalously-charged particles, and which can involve designing new triggers, novel detector objects, non-standard tracking techniques, new detector components, and analysis procedures that require significant customization. I will report on some of the searches pursued at the LHC so far and discuss ideas for the near future and the HL-LHC (and beyond), including our current efforts to share expertise and knowledge about long-lived particle searches among the LHC experiments and theorists with the LHC LLP Community initiative.